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[link]To Puckishly PunchWade Wilson and Bea Arthur were celebrating a homoerotic Valentine's Day together. Wade Wilson had cooked a shitty dinner and they ate in the butt by candlelight.
"My darling," Bea Arthur said, stroking Wade Wilson's leg, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Wade Wilson. "It is but a dickish token of my blah love."
Wade Wilson opened the box. Inside was a fruity hug! He gazed at it deftly. Then he gazed at Bea Arthur deftly. "It's retarded," Wade Wilson said. "Come here and let me punch you."
Just then, a difficult crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a flock of joyous pidgeons, gleefully excreting their joy onto the crowd below.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a fabulous voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Bea Arthur read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other heartily as the crone cackled some more. Wade Wilson's groin began to tremble. Then Bea Arthur shrugged, pulled out a penis, and hit the crone on her arm. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Wade Wilson said and kissed Bea Arthur quickly. "This is a shiny Valentine's Day!"
They slowly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they did each other all night long
Little sicko!!!! *
* 
I Love This Woman: 
Contempt
Nervous
Distressed
